We won't let a little thing like a birthday get in the way of the crap that tumbles from the mouths of my family. Me included...
Me: Ryan, do you want your toast cutting?
Ryan: Yes please.
Me: How? Squares or triangles?
Ryan: Triangles please.
Me: There you go.
Ryan: *walks away* I love Illuminati toast...
Adam: Dad, can you wash my scarf? It's in my school bag and it's got pencil crumbs on it...
Mr G: What are pencil crumbs??
Adam: The bits that come when you sharpen a pencil?
Watching an episode of Ninjago, where one character threw his brother into a portal.
Adam: That's not nice, is it? Throwing your brother into a portal?
Me: Well, depends which brother you mean, doesn't it?
Adam: *pauses* If you threw Dave (my brother) into a portal, would his head get stuck?
Adam trying to grasp the concept of why I had so much cash and gifts on my birthday. I tried in vain to explain a 'special' birthday... and got a bit exasperated.
Adam: So, is ten a special birthday?
Me: They're all special, Adam, but some are traditionally more special than others. Eighteen, twenty one, forty...
Adam: So you're saying my birthday isn't special.
Me: Adam, look. The first time you're going to see anything like this, is when you're eighteen.
Adam: Hmmmmph. Great. So I'm going to get a cat and a candle... can't wait...
Relaxing in Ye Olde Boote Inn last Friday evening, totally chilled, really nice atmosphere...
Me: Really nice, this.
Mr G: Relaxing. No rowdiness at all.
Me: *jokingly* We're amongst a better class of people, darling.
Mr G: Yes. The English...
Looking at the birthday bunting strung up at the window, he says...
Mr G: You can make 'Hell Mice' out of your name...
Telling Mr G where to put a loose carrier bag...
Me: Put it on top of the helicopter... (washing machine...!)
Mr G stumbling in the dark next to our bed.
Mr G: Bloody hell, I nearly fell over your lawnmower then! (Hairdryer...)
Mr G assembling some very tacky fluttering garden ornaments. They're crap, but the birds are decimating our baskets to take the matting for their nests, and they're a good deterrent.
Mr G: Oooooooh it's a dandelion this time, not a butterfly.
Me: It's a what?
Mr G: A dragonfly.
Me: You said dandelion.
Mr G: No I didn't, you're listening things.
Again... what? :-)