Glorious

I didn't get much sleep last night but I woke to an absolutely beautiful day. Blue skies, sunny. What an amazing way to start the week, right?

It was lovely to wake up to zero Facebook notifications. Usually once my phone realises that I'm awake, it's ping, ping, ping. I managed to speak to three friends last night on messenger and explained to them my reasons for leaving and they understood and I think they were feeling it a bit themselves. They see it on their own newsfeed as well, it's not exclusive to me right now.

I've seen mental health declining amongst my friends and loved ones during this pandemic. My own has declined - exacerbated by Facebook. I try and check in with all of those who I consider friends, maybe not as much as I could or should, but some days I don't even want to speak to anyone, and as I said previously, you can't pour from an empty cup, can you? I can see it in those who post non stop about Covid-19. They share every news article about it, every post is about it. I have heard it from those who confide in me, those who will speak openly about how they're feeling with me. There are others who I worry about because I fear they are struggling, really struggling right now. I have single friends for who - their social life is their lifeline, their friends are their relationship. They must be feeling so alone right now. I have friends who have lost parents during this, who haven't been able to be there with them when they've passed. I think the mental impact of this crisis is going to be evident for years to come. The really hard thing is that I can only reach out with words, or a video call. I can't hug them, or turn up with a bottle of wine, or meet for a coffee and have a cake and a chat and a catch up.

I just hope that they all know that they can come to me if they're struggling, that my door is always open to them, even if that has to take the form of a virtual door these days. What I can offer right now is limited, I can't offer a meal, or a bed for the night, or a cuddle, or a long walk. But I can offer an ear and a shoulder. I would sooner anyone reach out to me than suffer in silence.

My star of a husband has cooked twice for me today - and it's not like I'm having an off day or a sick day either. He made us a bacon and leek risotto for lunch, he has the patience to stand there stirring the pan and adding stock little by little. I make cheats risotto - dump it all in a pan, put the lid on and hope for the best 20 minutes later. It is an ideal dish for him though, he is a 'stirrer', the minute he hears the ignition on the gas cooker, he's in, in the cutlery drawer and hovering with a spoon :-)

We have meal planned ahead for the week, included some batch cooking in for my barren freezers. They haven't been so bare since the start of this pandemic. 

Monday: Meat and potato 'pie' with vegetables and gravy
Tuesday: Chicken and chorizo risotto and salad
Wednesday: Rump steak, peppercorn and mushroom sauce, jersey potatoes, onions, mushrooms and peas
Thursday: Ham and pineapple pasta bake
Friday: Chicken madras, basmati rice and onion bhajis
Saturday: Salmon salad and new potatoes
Sunday: King prawn pasta with a creamy white wine sauce

We will do our shop tomorrow or Wednesday, armed with a comprehensive shopping list. It's fast become the highlight of my week, my weekly food shop.

This is not how I pictured 2020 to be, when on New Year's Eve, I said to Mr G, this next year is going to be a really good year, I can feel it in my waters... I really did not anticipate this particular shitshow, if I'm honest.