'It's called Summer. Have a Solero and shut the f**k up' - Peter Kay.
We're in Wales. Not Wigan. Wales. There is a huge family party currently going on in a posh hotel (that isn't a funeral) in this weather? And we're not there. Instead. I am upstairs on my PC with a bottle of Pinotage, and Mr G? Well. He's downstairs on the sofa watching Widnes v Warrington. On slow release morphine. Yeah. That's been a special kind of fun. He's gone from giggly, to moidering, to smacked off his tits over the last few hours. At least the liquid morphine used to knock him out cold, almost instantly. There's me hoping for some kind of respite and instead I get a cross between Justin Fletcher, Alan Carr and Pete Doherty? Shudder with me people. Shudder with me.
We went wedding shopping. We're not going to a wedding in Wrexham next weekend. But were we going to one? We would now all be kitted out (except for the boys shoes). I tried my dress on. It's been here for two weeks. Hung up. And I've gibbed out on trying it on until this morning. I halternecked my bra. I tried it on, and... it looks ok. At the end of the day, it is what it is. It's a stunning looking dress on the size 8/10 model wearing it online... and it's an ok looking dress on the size 20/22 woman wearing it in real life. But nowhere near as bad as I anticipated, either? I think the 50's style dresses are more accommodating to us bigger ladies than shoving ourselves into the obligatory PC stocked chain store version of something we should never, ever be wearing. Don't lynch me - I say this as a big girl! I had some bargains too - I got a dress for Cait, also black with red flowers on, half price. Two fascinators, one for Cait and one for me, mine is a bit over-the-top for me, I don't like too much fuss, but hey - who the hell that knows me is going to see me, right? Trousers and (sale) shirts for the boys in Asda, and the trousers will do for school after, also half price shoes for Cait there. Claire's had a load of nails reduced, and I chose two sets for us girlies that came to a whopping total of £4 and the cashier told us they were 3 for 2, so we had 3 sets for £4. I had been toying with the idea of a spray tan, but my upper body isn't too bad thanks to the sporadic, bonkers weather we've had since April. Thankfully, after trying my dress on, all that will be seen of my legs is my cankles so I've given them a rub of EVOO, a sprinkle of sea salt and some sprigs of Rosemary, and will be displaying them at every available outdoor opportunity between now and next Friday. Just incase we decide to go to a wedding on Saturday. But we don't plan to.
I am serious about this blog jinx, by the way, incase you didn't realise it...? ;-)