Well... the audacity of today

Some days you're a pigeon and some days you're a statue, right? I started my day, as per, on the loo, reading my emailed horoscope, to be confronted with this...

Er... excuse me? Jeez. And then. Then! I get back from shopping to find I have a new comment on my blog. How exciting! Who could it be this time? Could it be... the spammers asking me to 'scratch here to find your hidden name meaning'? Or... could it be the spammers giving the most bizarre, vague comments on my blog, my little blog that I write pretty much only for family and friends, telling me that the information I am giving on the subject is excellent, interesting. How I'm a font of knowledge on this particular subject, an expert even...

Yes, yes I am. I'm married to one of the subjects, I had one subject cut out of my womb, and I fired the other three subjects out of my foof. I am not AN expert on the bleeding subject - I am THE expert on it. Thank you very much!

Anyhoo. With baited breath, I clicked on the email notification. Could it finally be? The first comment since about 1943 that I could actually publish? 

Nope. 

Discuss.

Unknown, if you're reading this, babe. My face really wouldn't look better between your legs. As a rule, people tend to have foofs or pork swords between their legs. Some have both. What people don't tend to have, are faces between their legs? 

Imagine the scene. You take some lucky (and I use the word loosely) lady (or gent - no judgement here) home with you (and, by home I mean to your bedroom in your mum's, where you've been living since your wife ran off with your best mate, taking your kids and emptying your bank account), whip off your poundshop bought kecks and instead of finding your knob there, instead, they find my face there, gurning up at them? Either way, they're going to be disappointed, aren't they? You'd be (rightly) labelled (even more of) a freak and you would probably never have sex again. 

So, thanks for the offer, it's really generous of you, but I'll pass on that. Cheers hun.

FFS. Anyway. Tea tonight was the as-always magnificent Chicken Shawarma kebab from RecipeTin Eats. It was a last minute decision, after finding a huge tray of skinless and boneless chicken thighs reduced to £4.50 in Iceland this morning. I love a good bargain. We had this with salad and wraps - no naan bread this week :-(

But still, really good. I think the next time I can entertain at home, I am going to make a load of these and that's what the main course will be. Everyone gets a kebab on their plate, and then they can do what they want with it; naan bread or wraps or knife and fork, salad, no salad, chilli, no chilli. Carte blanche :-)