Today, three weeks into our 'diet that isn't a diet because we eat loads of junk' - Mr G has lost a stone, 14 lbs, and I have lost 13.6 lbs. So, to celebrate, here are the latest howlers to come from my family over the last couple of days.
Adam: I think I'm looking forward to starting secondary school next year. Will I like it?
Me: I think you'll love it. You like learning, you'll have loads of different, new, interesting lessons.
Adam: Are the teachers nice?
Me: Well, some are, some aren't, I suppose. Same as it is in any school. Just how it is, isn't it?
Adam: I think they're just in it for the money.
Me: What? Who?
Adam: The nasty teachers. Whereas the nice ones are doing it for the kids. And maybe the money just a little bit.
What the...? Ok...
Ryan walks into the room and asks...
Ryan: Is Adam crying?
Me: No.... why...?
Ryan: Damn it! I wanted to feed off his despair...
Adam asks me...
Adam: Mum? Was Ryan's Nintendo DS the first thing of his that I ever broke?
Me: Probably not, Adam, no.
Ryan: No. You broke my heart when you were born. I wanted a sister.
This made me cry. Laughing, of course.
And not wanting to be left out. Mr G is devastated that we're not going to be able to travel to Wrexham for Cru's home fixture against Rochdale on Good Friday. He's simply not up to it, even if he had been given the all clear to drive. He's up and down like a yoyo, one day he's in great spirits, the next he's in pain. He was more excited about this fixture than the Wigan v Saints match on Sky, and was prepared to miss it and record it to watch Crusaders. From the moment he came round from anaesthetic he's been trying to blag me into letting him drive there, and the other night, we had this exchange.
Me: Stephen, we can't go. It's a long drive there and back, all the steps up to our seats?
Mr G: We'll sit at the bottom. And I'll get a walkie chair. *silence and blank look* A push chair. *more silence and puzzlement*. What are they called?
Me: A wheel chair?
Mr G: One of those.
I had visions of him ricocheting around the Racecourse stadium in an adult sized baby walker... ;-)