The tree is up. The little knick knacks are interspersed around the house, the windows are lit up. All the presents are wrapped. The cards are hanging. The freezer is full. And I feel very, very meh about the whole thing. Anyone else?
I always maintain that I love Christmas, but year on year now, I find that I am trying desperately to recapture a feeling of days gone by. And with each passing year, it seems to elude me further. Everyone says 'There's no Christmas spirit' or 'It doesn't feel like Christmas, does it?'. No, it doesn't. I'm now beginning to wonder that if it's something that you don't feel as a parent and an adult? When we were children, the most we had to worry about was writing our Christmas cards and not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve. We woke up, we were gifted presents, had a meal cooked for us, and were able to play all day with our new things. Now, the stress starts early. Children expect so much these days, and my children aren't anywhere near as bad as a lot of children I know. One mother of four told me that her daughter wanted an iPhone and an iPod. She's nine, by the way. What the actual hell? It's not so bad now that three of mine are in the loop and know there's a budget, but when a certain child thinks that the cost of gifts is funded by a fat man in a red suit, well, why shouldn't the sky be the limit? Do you shatter their dreams early, or get into debt to keep the magic going for them a little while longer?
We've just had a £610 all in car repair bill to pay out too, so that hasn't helped my mood. If it's got tyres or testicles, as they say.
Adam performed in his Christmas Concert last week, this year the Junior Department did Oliver, and it was fantastic as usual. Adam narrated a part of the play, and he really surprised me. For a child who is constantly worried and stressing over the smallest, insignificant things, he was so confident up on stage. He blew me away. Bless him. Next year will be his last Christmas Concert. My last Christmas Concert. After seeing four children through sixteen years worth concerts thus far. It's quite frightening how time flies.
Mr G and I are off Christmas Window Shopping on Wednesday. We're not sure if we're going to Llandudno or Wrexham yet. He likes Llandudno at Christmastime, I think the shops are better in Wrexham. Not that we have any money to spend wherever we go, but still. There's a shop in Wrexham that sells a wonderful variety of wool colours. I've found a chart for a jumper I want to knit, The Amazing World of Gumball. I need a specific blue and orange. It's our last moment of peace together before the schools close, I just want to get out of the house for a few hours, grab a bite of lunch, hopefully somewhere new so I can add it to my 40 before 40 list. I have a bit of cooking and baking to do, some sausage rolls, scotch eggs, cheesecake, but I haven't got the heart to do it. I really need cheering up, and fast. *stamps feet* SOMEONE CHEER ME UP!