November update

I'm still struggling at the moment. I have another month on this dosage of HRT before I have to have a catch up with my GP to see how things have gone. On the whole, I can't complain (or shouldn't complain) because it has eradicated the majority of the awful symptoms. But the fatigue is getting beyond a joke. Yesterday, I woke up after an eleven hour sleep, I was going again by noon, managed to prop my eyes open with matchsticks until half one, and I slept until half past three. I only woke because the boy woke me up using the cold water tap in the kitchen. And then I was back in bed before eleven and slept until my alarm at half seven. 

I've done very little but be kind to myself, relax, rest, knit, write and binge on tv shows with Mr G in the evenings and on his days off. We've done - Squid Game, two seasons of Derry Girls, three seasons of Young Offenders, three seasons of Brassic (in two days, it was so good! Farmer Jim is my new spirit animal), Alma's Not Normal and The Cleaner. We're currently trawling Most Haunted, re-watching some of our all time favourite episodes (Standon Hall, oh my gawd), and quite a few that we've either never seen, or it's been so long that we've forgotten them. Shrewsbury Prison is on the list again, Wentworth Woodhouse, Codnor Castle Farmhouse, and 30 East Drive. I also enjoyed the Accrington Courts ones, a lot of activity there, and also last year's Hallowe'en special where Glen had chairs launched at his head. 

I've knitted a lovely set with some rainbow wool - very me, a slouchy beanie hat, fingerless gloves and I'm halfway through a scarf that's knitted in blackberry stitch. I'm a little bored with it, to be honest, I keep putting it around my neck and making doe eyes at Mr G, and he keeps shaking his head at me. I like to get somewhere when I knit, and a scarf is so... meh. It's not hard work just very repetitive and boring. I also have (top left) a similar wool but it's more pinky, and I've knitted a bobble hat - in the round. First time ever. Was it easier? Yes! Until it came to shaping the crown and what the hell, just how? How do you do that? I tried using normal needles, dpns and it took me just as long to do the last two rows, as it did to do the rest of the hat. I think I might just stick to my normal needles in future! So, I need to finish the scarf, make some fringes for the bottom and then never, ever knit a scarf again as long as I live. 

Really pleased with my little fingerless gloves, adorned with a cute knitted flower and button.

I want to get my Christmas tree up, too. I don't care if it's too early, there's so little to feel happy about these days and it lifts my spirits seeing it lit up and all the decorations on. I've got my bits and bobs ready to make my Christmas cake and puddings on Stir up Sunday.  

I've pretty much sorted all the children, it's going to be a lean Christmas this year, they all know this, I had to have a frank talk with them. No big present, and truth be told, I've gone on my own initiative, and haven't even asked them what they would like this year, I've decided for them. Three are officially adults now, and you have to draw the line somewhere, we can't afford to be spending hundreds and hundreds of pounds on each. When all is said and done, they have phones, computers, they have more and access to more than I had at their age. 

My brother has (thankfully) said no presents this year as he's in the same boat. Christmas has got out of control, the spending, and we really are living from paycheck to paycheck. The cost of living is rising every week, but our income isn't. Petrol seems to be going up every other day, and don't get me started on heating. Our (generally affordable) energy company went bust, and we've been lumbered with British Gas and an estimated increase of over £40 a month. The heating hasn't gone on once because I'm too scared to switch it on, it's like the bloody dark ages. Sat in the dark by candlelight in the evening, with hot water bottles and fleece blankets and an extra layer. 

My youngest, the one I was worried about the most as he's still a child, he said something really sweet to me, along the lines of 'as long as you have all the nice stuff that you usually have, the food and the goodies, then that's all that matters'. So, food. As long as I feed him, he's ok. But I know what he means, following our own family's traditions. Cooking on a Christmas Eve, tunes blaring, bottle of wine, baking the ham, making sausage rolls and homemade scotch eggs, Mr G making his cake and then sitting down with a plateful of food watching a Christmas film with their Christmas Eve boxes. Danish pastries and croissants with Bucks Fizz for breakfast on Christmas morning after we've opened our presents. A magnificent Christmas dinner that nobody ever leaves a scrap of, washed down with a few bottles of prosecco. A lovely dessert and then falling asleep on the sofa with your head in a tub of Quality Street. That's what Christmas is. 

Not that we want or need anything much there, pretty much the usual pyjamas and skinny jeans (and a sausage roll from the butchers market for the boy), but Mr G has booked the day off for the Wrexham Victorian market, I think it's on the 8th or 9th December. The Christmas market has been cancelled, so we're watching this space for the same to happen to the Victorian one, because the Crusaders supporters Christmas do is on the 12th in The Turf. We won't be able to do both, that's definite. But if the Victorian one is cancelled, then we can go and do our shopping before the meet up, have a couple of cokes and then drive home. We didn't get to go to the end of season awards, we couldn't afford it this year, so it would be nice to see everyone again just before Christmas. 

See you in December, then...